Dear Santa,
I only want three things.
- Andrew Bynum? Srsly, wtfxup with that guy?
- Can you giftwrap Ron Artest’s 3-point shot? He lost the other one you gave him.
- A new pimpin’ ass cane.
Signed, Lil’ Phillie
Guy: Your girlfriend is really beautiful.
Kanye: Thank you.
Guy: Do you know she’s a bird?
Kanye: No, I never noticed that.
Hold Hands, Not Grudges (get this on a tee, get this on a tee in European store, make your own tee with this or get this on a postcard)
(Source: wordboner)
How to be a Hipster: The Starter Kit…
Step 1: If you understand what your t-shirt says, take it off.
Step 2: You MUST own: a messenger bag, thick frame nerd glasses (prescription optional), v-neck t-shirts, and a mustache.
Step 3: DO NOT own: a TV, loose fitted jeans, and shampoo.
Step 4: Listen to obscure bands until they become mainstream.
Step 5: Grow everything you eat and smoke.
Step 6: Listen to NPR while sipping on PBR.
Step 7: Don’t EVER admit that you are a Hipster!
(Source: cheaperthanacupofjoe)
Food in Simple Terms…
A corn dog is a hot dog wearing a pancake sweater.
Fruit Loops are gay Cheerios.
Cauliflower is a white broccoli.
Pho is noodles boiled in bath water (smells like B.O. too).
A calzone is a folded pizza.
Wasabi is the evil twin of green tea ice cream.
(Source: cheaperthanacupofjoe)
